A newly qualified doctor takes up a job at the hospital in Kings Row. One night she sees green fire leaping from the top of a nearby building and decides to undertake some investigation. It leads her in to a dark world she never knew existed.
A newly qualified doctor takes up a job at the hospital in Kings Row. One night she sees green fire leaping from the top of a nearby building and decides to undertake some investigation. It leads her in to a dark world she never knew existed.
You create a good image of a city with a gloom that doesn’t get to your character. I like it.
I’m curious about the types of heroes that your character sees. I imagine them not to be much like the comic book types in appearance. At the end, is the hero shadowed? Is he a he? I guess it’s just curiosity from a superhero fan, but that’s the only thing I couldn’t picture as I read.
This certainly is a terrifying tale that is, overall, well written and flows smoothly.
Another good one. You really managed to build a sense of foreboding right from the start and the hints that bad things are going to happen later helped push it along nicely. It kinda reminded me of how HP Lovecraft kept that disquieted thread running through his stories.
Maybe a few more increasingly strange and frightening encounters during the narrator’s observations would help build on that even more. Perhaps there could be sightings of a ghost or behemoth during the proceedings. Or you could build the tension up by playing on her paranioa as she starts to wonder who else might be involved with the Circle, maybe friends and workmates, or even just people in the street.
One other thing, after building up the tension you could go even further with your glimpse of Oranbega(?) bit when she’s the victim. You could have all sorts of images involving Behemoth Overlords and such, and draw inspiration from portal rooms full of demons and all that stuff that you see in-game when those missions go crazy I reckon by that point you’ve built up the foreboding so well that you can go as mad as you like with her vision.