How To Mow An Apple

Not something I get to advise people on every day, but I’ve had a lot of experience on this particular subject, so what the heck, here are my thoughts.

Garden Waste

Garden Waste

You might wonder why you’d need to know this, but as the summer comes to an end and the wind falls start to appear on the lawn, picking them all up can become a bit of a pain. The solution is to just let your mower take care of them, but there are things to watch out for.

If you are using a rotary mower the worst that can happen is the top half of the apple is sliced off. This will mean that the blade will never touch the bottom section and you’ll be forced to deal with it by hand. Hit the apple just right, however, and the fruit will be diced, flipped around and sucked up along with the cuttings.

To achieve this height of laziness don’t let the mower just roll onto the apple. Instead lift up the front end as you approach the fall fruit and then, when the apple is underneath the blades, drop it back down quickly. You’ll hear a tumbling noise and, nine times out of ten, as you walk on you’ll find nothing left to trouble you or your lawn.

(Filed under possibly the most pointless blog post ever, and that’s saying something.)